I have such a fear of disappointing people. That fear is so strong that I have sometimes felt that it is better that I didn’t get to close to someone because if I never get close to them than I will never disappoint them. Another of my fears is that someone will get so mad at me that they would never talk to me again. Giving me the silent treatment or the “I’m just going to pretend that you don’t exist” treatment is to me the worst, most meanest thing that anyone could ever do to me. My fears are not fantasy fears; they are actually things that have happened to me. I have disappointed people in the past and they decided that they would just stop talking to me and I just have to say that that really sucks. I really don’t understand why people have such high expectations of other’s in the first place. Don’t they understand that no single person on this planet is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes? What ever happened to forgiveness and second chances? Why is it that even though you genuinely apologize to people that they are still unable to forgive. Haven’t they ever made a mistake before?

So yes, getting to know people, letting them in, is a dangerous thing. Nobody wants to be open to getting judged by someone. I think that we are living in a world where there are a lot of hurt and broken hearted people. I DON’T WANT TO GIVE IN TO THAT! I refuse to give in to that. Somehow, it is wrong. So, I will go out there and expose myself. I will show the world my heart for them to examine and judge. I will let people in. Having known someone, even though they hurt you, has got to be better than never knowing anyone at all.