I’m pregnant and am basically bedridden, not because of doctors orders but because I’m just too sick to really go and do anything. When you are sick, and you know that you’ll most likely be sick for awhile, it really makes you remember how nice it was to feel normal. I mean I’m almost a little bit mad at myself because I didn’t do more when I was feeling healthy. I think that when I feel good again I am going to do a lot of things, soooo many things because being exhausted because of a long day of activities is much better than being exhausted for no reason. It makes me so mad that I can’t even keep my house in order, my house is disgusting right now and Tom is doing everything that he can to help but he’s taking some pretty hard classes this semester so it hasn’t been easy for him. Gosh he’s wonderful. I may be the only one that get’s to see that but I don’t care. It used to bother me that people didn’t see him in the same light as I did but now I could care less. I have learned to love him more deeply than I ever thought possible. I never knew that this kind of love existed. How do you explain the type of love that a husband and wife experience for each other. We have been through many trials together and have come out of them alive and wiser and stronger. And to top it all off, we are eternal; we will be together throughout eternity, he is mine forever. I cannot put into words how happy that that makes me. And my children…oh my children, what can I say about them, I love them so much that sometimes it hurts. They have been with us through all of our trials and have to come out of them refined and polished. They are so kind and caring and sweet and they have helped me so much with this pregnancy. Meshach has taken it upon his self, without being asked, to help get the other kids up in the morning for school. He sets his alarm for 5:00 am and he does everything to get the others ready. All we have been having to do is get up for about five minutes to make sure everybody looks halfway decent and say a prayer with them before they leave. Amazing!

So, I have been accepted into BYU Prove and BYU Idaho. I really have wanted to go to Provo but they haven’t offered me a financial aid package or anything yet. BYU Idaho has offered me a financial aid package already, they have a program that I am really interested in and they’ve sent me letters to encourage me with getting started and they e-mail reminders about things almost on a daily basis. Provo has done none of that, so I’m confused now and have no idea what to do. I still seem to feel lead to go to Provo but I really just need to learn to be more paitent and wait awhile, I know that everything will be fine. I don’t want to make a mistake though and I want what’s best for my family in the long run. I’m trying to keep an open heart and mind for whatever the Lord wants us to do even if that means us staying here. I hope that we don’t have to stay here though, not that it is bad here but I just don’t think that it is the best place for our family right now. We shall see shant we. For now, I just want to feel better; I’m hoping that I will start feeling better in about another month, that’s how my other pregnancies have been. And of course there is the issue of money. So far we are fine with money but I fear that if we wait another couple of months, we will be low on funds and you have to have a lot of money to move.

My troubles are so minimal, I know, I should really be more grateful. When it comes down to it, as long as my family is safe and taken care of, I am perfectly content. Before I close, I just want to take a minute to bear my testimony. I am so grateful for the restored gospel. I am so grateful to be a part of it. I sustain Thomas S. Monsen as a true prophet. I know that he leads us through divine inspiration. I am so thankful for him. I also know that Joseph Smith was a true Prophet and that he was called by God to restore this great Church. He translated the Book of Mormon and it is now the only true book on the face of this planet. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and I know that my soul depends on his atonement. He paid the price for me and I am eternally grateful. I know that ANYTHING is possible if I have faith in him and put my trust in him.