My Sadness Level

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So recently there was a pretty major thing that happened within the Mormon Church community.  A Mormon feminist woman who had been rallying that women be ordained to the priesthood was excommunicated from the Church. 

This has really upset many women and men who were rallying for the same thing. 

So, as I’ve explained in my previous post, I’m called a feminist by many even though I’m pretty sure that the people who study feminism, if they read this, will conclude that I’m not a very good one because of my inability to be 100% true to feminist teachings and standards. 

I’ve had a life with some hardships.  I’ve had times during my childhood where I was afraid of the beatings that would come from my father and where I didn’t have a place that I ever felt like I was safe. 

I’ve had times where I didn’t know where I was going to be able to sleep at night, or if I was going to be able to eat that day. 

In my married adult life I’ve had times where money was scarce and the worries for my children’s future was very heavy and very real. 

I think that when you’ve struggled and experienced what it’s like to not have the basic safeties in life that most people take for granted, you are able to put things into perspective. 

The LDS church has helped me and my family so much.  It has provided for us in times of great need and if it weren’t for the church, I can honestly say that I don’t know where we would be.  I definitely would not be getting ready to graduate from college. 

Other than dealing with my father in my childhood, who had been silently struggling with post traumatic stress disorder, I have never had a bad experience with a man who held the priesthood.  I never had a bishop who did anything other then be kind and loving toward me and who didn’t go out of his way to understand my situation and try and make things easier for me. 

My husband joined the Mormon church after we were married and I was able to witness him get the priesthood and I have observed that with it he is actually a more humble, kind, gentle and Christ-like man. 

I’m sorry for all the sadness but I just can’t be sad with you.  I feel so overwhelmingly blessed.  When you’re hungry and scared the last thing in the world your thinking about is whether or not women will ever hold the offices of the priesthood.  And in the hunger and scaredness, when the men who do hold those offices offer you freely all of the things that you need to make life easier you just have a really hard time thinking badly of them. 

So I guess when I start to see the men who hold the priesthood in the church practice unrighteous dominion or trying to start wars or who are trying to withhold from the poor and needy so that they can lift themselves up, then I’ll get really sad.    But until then all I can do is just be really grateful for them and my many blessings.